Today I drove past a fatal accident.

Some poor guy made a judgement call and crossed in front of a bus going 80km an hour in his white Ford Telstar station-wagon. His judgement was wrong, and he is dead, a few weeks before Christmas.

It made me think.

If I die my family is well looked after, but what might happen in the future?  Will my son go bad without a father figure?  Will my wife spin out of control?  Have I left enough money to make  it a little bit easier to adjust to a life without me?

All these thoughts washed across me as I drove past the tarpaulin covered car at 8.15am this morning.

When i got home, the first thing I noticed was a dead Kingfisher chick on our driveway.  It’s legs stuck at awkward angles and the lifeless eyes were a stark reminder of what my imagination showed me behind the pale blue tarpaulin earlier in the day.

It’s the eyes.  I have seen many dead creatures, and the lifeless eye always cut to the core.

Today, I realized the frailty of the human condition.  Our life, or our death can be formed in a second.

And I wondered, not for the first time, what would it feel like to die?

I also pulled out “Some Girls Wander by Mistake” by Sisters of Mercy – an album I have not listened to for years.

I feel vulnerable today.  I feel frail.