Global Warming. Just about every day there is a new piece of drivel in some paper or new bulletin about it.

Costs are going to go up, coastal property prices are going to go down, we face economic ruin, the world is going to change.

Come on people, cow farts affecting the climate? Get real!

What is the answer? All cows are to be fitted with colostomy bags, which is then transfered to a processing station and this is then recycled into the following products:

• fibreboard cladding from the grass based waste
• refined natural gas from the decomposition of said waste
• green food coloring for childrens play doe
• recycled bottled water

There. That was easy. That should ensure New Zealand at least has sufficient Kyoto credits to become a nuclear dumping ground. Yes?

Problem solved. Oh… nuclear waste is not so bad… Chernobyl is flourishing!